Tag Archives: funny kid sayings

No. 2 son, stuffing Monopoly money into a black bag: There’s a bad guy kid who robbed a bank and he’s coming this way.
Me: Oh my! We’d better watch out.
No. 2 son: He has a shirt like this (points to own shirt), shorts like this (points to shorts), shoes like mine…
Me, suspicious: Does he wear glasses?
No. 2 son: Yes.
Me, more suspicious: Does he wear a glow-in-the-dark watch?
No. 2 son, nodding solemnly: Yes.
Me, alarmed: Is he…YOU?
No. 2 son: No. His eyebrows look like this (furrows brows in threatening manner). And he wears a black hat. Backwards.

snippets of the songs my sons are singing right now:

No. 1 son – Reunited and it feels so good! Reunited in the under woods!
No. 2 son – Smell like I sound, lost underground. And I’m hungry for a wolf!

ETA: No. 2 son corrected No. 1 son: It’s not “reunited in the underwoods.” It’s “reunited, Jesse understood.” You know, Uncle Jesse?

(yep, that Uncle Jesse. John Stamos himself)

Don’t have ten things this Friday, or even five, really, given that I already shared the wasp story and linked to Hank’s brilliance. So…

1. People are weird, first case study: 
As Kevin and I strolled through the aisles of Halls department store today after lunch, we came upon a woman walking toward us who apparently took an instant dislike to Kevin. Her eye widened with each step closer to us until we passed, shoulder to shoulder and she, without turning her head, looked sidewise at him as if she were hexing him. We decided, given that he had no idea who this woman might be much less why she seemingly wished him harm, that his aura must be in need of a good cleaning. Or something.

2. People are weird, second case study: 
Later, a flustered young driver at HyVee, window open and f-bombs dropping freely, tried her best to ram into two parked cars and run down an old lady in an attempt to exit the parking lot. Not to be trifled with, the old lady shook her handbag at the young driver and shouted, "Are you on drugs?!" to which the girl shouted back, "No! Are you?!"

3. Overheard one morning this week
No. 2 son to No. 1 son: Pretend you see Voldemort at the cemetery. (crouches behind couch and slowly rises) Hi, dude!

No. 2 son rises from behind the couch. (Photo from Warner Bros)

4. Richard Gere and Indian actress Shilpa Shetty recently had arrests warrants issued against them for this: 


Personally, I think jail time might just be worth it.
(Photo from AP/Yahoo)

5. Tornado sirens just went off. Gotta run outside and look up at the sky now!

On the way home from school:

No. 1 son (tired of answering questions about his day): Mom, you bug me about everything. I take a breath, you say "How did you like that breath? Did anyone take a breath with you? What were you thinking about when you took that breath? Oh, you took a step. How did that step feel?"

No. 2 son (arm pointed skyward): To the bathroom! Away!